Saturday, June 25, 2011

ANARCHRIST; thoughts & progress

Above anything else, this drawing was inspired by Kien’s song “ANARCHRIST.” When I first listened to the song, the composition itself and the title intertwined in my mind to create the prototype idea for this project. Naturally, willingly, it glided up to me from within the chaos of the song. Guided by the effect it produced within me, I wanted to create something that could capture the qualities of the music itself. It took a while before I felt like it was the right time to work on this, but it came earlier in the year. Up until this point, music-related/inspired drawings I have worked on have been heavily based on references of band members and/or song lyrics. This is especially true if I think back to the GDS collaboration stage (already writing my own history book, it seems), during which Alex and I spliced together lyrics and screen-capped references to create something very collage-like. I wanted this to be different, I wanted it to stem from the music itself.

If I think about it, I am not used to listening to vocal-less music. I am often charmed by the vocalist’s voice—its intensity, its message. Not having words layered over the music track, however, allowed me to take a different approach. I paid attention to what otherwise might have been muted from my field of hearing, and it was from the structure and atmosphere of the track that I worked.

Chaos, repetition, progression. A sense of spiraling further into something uncontrollable. Multi-layered complexity, aggressive determination, something beautifully savage, almost offensive.

As I’ve written before, I am not a supporter of clear, precise definitions within my drawings. In fact, I do not really want to address the symbols I have included directly, partially because it would amount to a list of potential interpretations that in the end may be completely irrelevant. I should point out that there are certain themes I worked with; namely, the arbitrary meanings we embed into symbols and gestures, the power they hold in various contexts—politics, religion, personal affairs. The circular form as a vehicle inherent in human history, in cultures across the world. And of course, I could not refrain from the grim notes of mayfly symbolism.

To address a personal issue than will inevitably rise from this, I will say only this: I cannot help but go along with whatever calls to me, whatever inspires me at the moment and lifts me out of myself. To be more straightforward:

Alex, I am sorry if this somehow hurts you; that was honestly never my intention, and I hope you understand.

Kien, I hope this does some justice to your composition. Please continue writing music, I’m always looking forward to hearing more.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Philly Comic Con & NYC

I would like to say that I feel somehow more awakened, but I think it may be just the desire for an awakening that is propelling me. I think that what I feel instead is a heightened sense of urgency about my life and am not quite sure what to do about it.

My trip to Philly Comic Con and NYC is a very bittersweet kind of experience. In a way, it is an epitome of “a mixed experience” that I seem to have so often when I travel to cons—a mix of good and bad that, in the end, all forms into one complete experience that I would never give up.

In New York, I got to stay with Sasha for a couple of days. The McQueen exhibit at the Met completely overwhelmed me—overloaded my mind and dissolved my insides. I allowed myself to be dissipated, to melt into it, whatever “it” is. If I think of the right public words, I will describe my experience there.

Over this past week, something broke down and gave way to something else. I don’t know the specifics, but I can feel it. Whether it grows into a cankerous monster or a beautiful leafy tree (is there a combination of both?)  is up to me.